In this digital, always-on, mobile-device-connected, everything in-the-cloud world in which we live, it might seem that we no longer need to carry good old fashioned ‘matter’ around with us anymore. Who needs ‘stuff’ when we have iPhones and Blackberries, laptops and Google Docs? Well, we all still carry stuff around with us – if anything, we’re just replacing papers and printouts and reports and magazines and books with the digital versions of them… bits and semiconductors and batteries instead of ink on paper. And no matter how connected and digitized we get, there is still no way to get clothing to the gym or the climbing wall or from our home to our travel destination without the benefit of a well-built bag.
Anthropological Aside: Bags must be one of the oldest, and most boring, personal accoutrements that have ever existed in the history of the bi-pedal human experience. However, in one way shape or form they have probably been around since before the wheel — I’d venture the guess that ever since we figured out how to walk on two feet, our species has needed to carry more crap than we can easily gather in our two arms and hands from one place to another. Not sure what the cultural anthropologists would say about the ‘history of bags’, but I’m sure that somewhere in the pit of an ancient civilization archeological site along with the clay pot shards and fish bones there have been cloth slings and primitive bag-thingies that have been unearthed. If anyone is aware of these, feel free to Comment me a link – I’m just the type of dork who would like to see such things. Anyway…
Ridiculous though it may seem, I have recently been servicing my bag fetish by acquiring still more bags. I like to think of myself as a pretty “Live Simply so that Others Can Simply Live” type of guy — I keep the crap quotient amongst my possessions as low as possible. Reuse instead of acquire, whenever possible, and all that good stuff. However, when it comes to bags, I have an achilles heel in the belief that each crap-carrying situation has a bag perfectly suited to its purpose… and anytime I see a new bag perfectly suited to a crap-carrying situation, I tend to invent an excuse to buy said bag to apply specifically to the task of carrying that particular class of crap.
Without further ado, then, here is a short list of my current top bags for various situations… and a few thrown in that just represent the best in man-bags for the bag-obsessed-man. Don’t hate me because of my bag problem… I’m still a good guy, overall, I promise.
Crap-Carrying Situation: Fly-fishing
Bag: Simms Dry-Creek Hip Pack
[Editors Note: I would've dropped a picture of this in here, but Simms website managers have wisely chosen to protect the rights to their proprietary bag pictures and won't let you right-click to grab a location address link to their pics. Perhaps a little protective, but whatever. Take the link jump their product page if you want to see why this bag rules for wading rivers.]
Justification: This bag is convenient, the right size, and completely waterproof (I’ve dunked numerous waist packs in rivers when i’ve gotten in too deep wading to set up on a fish. A pack full of waterlogged fly boxes and leaders does not a successful dry-fly fisherman make, i can assure you.)
Crap-Carrying Situation: Flying
Bag: Patagonia Maximum Legal Carry-on(c) Wheelie
Justification: For those who travel frequently, using this bag is awesomeness because it matches – as it says – the maximum legal carryon dimensions for most airlines *and* it has the right features and construction to enable any business or personal trip. It has wheels and a durable retractable handle when its heavy. And it has hidden back-pack style straps tucked into a zippered compartment on the back. It even has slick internal compression straps to increase internal load and to ensure that if you travel with a suit and shirts you can fold them and strap them down so that they don’t (overly) wrinkle. Spendy but worth it.
Crap-Carrying Situation: Business Commute and Similar
Bag: Timbuk 
D-Lux Messenger Bag
Justification: Style, features, comfort, uptown/downtown cred. I used to carry the New York City equivalent of this, the Manhattan Portage messenger bag, until 10 years ago when I had mine pinched with all my crap in it (including my Passport, plane tickets, and all my identification and money… but that’s another story) in Northern Ireland. We have a version of this bag in black and green custom-embroidered with our Spring Creek Group logo and give one to every one of our employees. [Editors Note: Nothing makes me happier than seeing one hanging off the shoulders of one of our folks on their scooter-or-bike-commute home on the mean streets of Seattle... :-).]
Crap-Carrying Situation: Gym, Hunting, Travel, Random Crap-Carrying
Bag: Filson Medium Duffle Bag
Justification: Filson gear generally, and their field and duffel bags specifically, are the shizzle. [Editors Note: Do 'the kids' still say 'the shizzle'? Something tells me No. Oh well.] They look awesome, they last forever, they are nearly indestructible, and they look manly and tough. All of their bags are basically variants of their earliest bags, which were designed to do things like carry shotgun shells on a hunt and cart home recently-shot duck carcasses. Awesome. I lusted after one of these for years until I could finally justify buying one for myself by purchasing it while down in Portland to save the taxes — that should tell you how spendy these are for how basic they are. What the heck, life is short – and I carry a lot of crap, even if it’s not very frequently shotgun shells and dead ducks. Bonus points: Filson is an old-school Pacific Northwest company and their stuff is basically guaranteed for life.
Crap-Carrying Situation: Random Crap-Carrying
Bag: Heritage Leather Company Leather-Reinforced Canvas Mason Bags
Justification: I recently saw one of these bags written up in an article about a cool New York online and real-world boutique shop called Hickoree Hard Goods. When I saw these bags hanging on the wall behind the proprietor, I immediately had the run-to-the-Web moment. Unfortunately, many others must have had this moment, because Hickoree’s is presently sold out of most styles of the Heritage Mason bags. However, being a fully-obsessed and not-to-be-denied bag pursuer, I tracked down the direct phone number for Heritage in California and talked a nice guy down there to sell and ship me one (the 18″ leather reinforced version, model #306A for those keeping score) directly. Old-school. Manual-labor cred. I can’t wait to get it. [Editors Note: I feel no less masculine for having described this bag to numerous people as being "The Birkin Bag for Men". If you know what that means, well then, good for you - you're probably bag obsessed too, and quite likely female. If you are reading this and lust after a real Birkin bag yourself, well then here's a tip: The Birkin Bag for Men costs $69 plus shipping... with the $2921, give or take, you will save buying and carrying a Heritage Mason Bag rather than a lamo Birkin Bag, you can fly to Koh Lanta in Thailand and live there for approximately a year. You're welcome.]
Crap-Carrying Situation: Beach Gear, Steeplechase Days, Hauling Logs to Fireplace, Parties at Diddies in Southampton
Bag: L.L. Bean Boat and Tote Bag
Justification: These bags are the modern, indestructible, ridiculously preppy equivalent of whatever it was that humans used to carry their crap 6000 years ago. Want extra super preppy points? Order it embroidered with your initials or first name. Perhaps the most perfect bag ever built (in modern society). Warning to men: Not Terribly Manly.
[Editor's Note: Long-time amigo FitzyJoe added a comment after I published this post calling attention to a truly amazing bag, and while I do not own one of these bad boys, believe me when I say that I will rush out and arm myself with one or two of these babies if, some day, POTUS calls and asks if I am ready to serve my country as a special appointed representative for social functions and such abroad. New, mind you - not used. Who would pay 26 Large for a used bag, after all?!?]
Crap-Carrying Situation: Porter-Accompanied Global Travel, Mid-Century Diplomatic Duty, “Crushing It”
Bag: Louis Vuitton Wardrobe Trunk
Justification: If it isn’t obvious why someone would want one of these, I’m not sure a few clever words typed on one of these newfangled ‘personal Weblogs’ is going to change the situation for you, dear reader. Simply put, is there anywhere, at any time, in any era, where if you arrived with one of these accompanying you, you wouldn’t be received with the gravitas appropriate to an arriving guest of your stature? The answer, my friend, is ‘No’, no there isn’t. I don’t care if you’re arriving at the Victoria Falls Hotel with a retinue of 12, at Base Camp 2 of Everest, at the Omaha Hilton, or at the Passaic Motel 6 by the Turnpike, if you roll in there with an LV Wardrobe Trunk you are going to get treated like the Person of Importance which you are (or aspire to be). I don’t even think that they make these things anymore, but sort of average sized Louis Vuitton hand-bag sized luggage costs between 3 and 6 G’s these days new. (Which *sort of* explains why a used Wardrobe Trunk with someone else’s initials on it would cost you twenty-five large if you really had to have it. Except that, no, it doesn’t.)
Bonus points/info: This bag and it’s Louis Vuitton Monogram Canvas line of hardsided luggage brethren are so iconic that no less an arbiter of style than Wes Anderson had HIS OWN variant designed by Marc Jacobs and created expressly to be featured in “The Darjeeling Limited“. If there is anything more dork-cool and awesome-sauce than being emulated/imitated admiringly by Wes Andereson, I don’t want to know what it is. [Editor's Note: Oh yeah, and this super famous (marginally interesting/talented, IMHO) Japanese contemporary artist worked up a gaudy day-glo version of the Monogram Canvas bags for LVMH a few years back. To those I say, Feh/Blech.]
Cheerio — and happy crap carrying. You might as well do it in style.
